Monday, November 14, 2005

Year-end Wrap Up of the Vexing

There are alot of things that but the shit outta me. I am a very cantankerous person. But at least I'm cranky now, and won't have far to go when I get older. Consider this practice for my crabby old age.

1. The use of the word "hobo" to describe homeless people. A hobo is specifically a migrating vagrant, and there is a connotation of a hobo being someone who has chosen this lifestyle. A homeless person is someone who lives out on the streets, and not by choice. I see this word used copiously on a certain "I overheard something" website, and since I happen to know that one of the editors is a Republican and a fan of Ayn Rand, I suspect shenanigans in the form of trying to belittle the homeless. Anyhow, I really don't want to see this word re-enter the lexicon in its current neo-con form. We need to make it our duty to correct people!

2. The use of the word "co-ed" when referring to women attending college. Uh, it's 2005, people. I can't think of one university that has recently begun to admit women where this term might be applicable. Again, this is another archaic word that has taken on an essense of deprecation. The men are "eds" and the women "co-eds"? It's like we're just hanging out, waiting to meet the right ed. Which brings u to no. 3.

3. Housewife screeds.
There have been a plethora of tomes lately about the joys of being a housewife, all written by women who should know better, as EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A JOB OUTSIDE THE HOME. Believe me, there is not ONE person I know who would not like to be supported by a more affluent partner and left at home to supervise the nanny and do some charity work in between tennis matches, but this is not a reality for most people. Hang it up, ladies. No one cares to hear the rich upper class opinion on how the rest of us should live our lives. You are as obsolete as co-eds. Which brings us, oddly, to no 4.

4. The Shocker.
Not shocking, but annoying. And why? Because as a gesture it is meaningless, and I don't have time for meaningless hand gestures. Let me break it down for you, kiddies. The middle finger has a meaning. It means "fuck you." The thumb between the index and middle fingers? Means "gotcher nose." The shocker? It refers to an act, but there is no contextual meaning. Does it mean "I would like to perform this act on the person to whom my fingers are pointing?" No, it does not. All it means is "I am cooler than my mom." And as such I have no time for this. The Lindy is much more entertaining, and that's hard to believe that references to a two-year-old photo of torture is funnier.

Note: entry no. 4 is where I particularly feel like a crabby old person. the kids today, they can't even come up with a meaningful GESTURE, geez, they're so moronic. it's not like the devil horns!

5. New York Times reporting scandals. OMG, can they just stop this already? I think my high school newspaper had higher standards.


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2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did you see that a dating website generically (and in a sort of Jethro Clampett voice) complimented your blog to advertise itself?

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12:02 AM  
Blogger Chompers said...

they do that all the time. they're not real people, they're robots. i usually delete them but i didn't have time yet. now i have to leave it!

12:27 PM  

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